I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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