She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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