If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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