She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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