my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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