I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
