At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
