I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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