I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
