Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
