it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
