worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
