I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
