Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
