He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
