I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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