I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
