just come out here and I will go home with you...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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