Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
