I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize