This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
