That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize