I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
