Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
