Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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