Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
