Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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