Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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