At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
