he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
