There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
