You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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