hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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