i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I supernannyed him into submission
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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