I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
