Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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