Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
