I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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