Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
