is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
