I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
