i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
