This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
