I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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