i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
