There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
