So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
