Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Houston, we have a blender
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
