i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
