I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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