What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
