These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
