Yo dont text me then not text me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
