i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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